anonymous story 3

My DV story starts in 2014. I had met my first sons father when I was 14 & he was 24. By 16 I was living with him, by 17 I was pregnant, by 18 he’d hit me once and I took our son and I walked out. You’d think my story ends there but it does not. Instead, I met and fell head over heels for Dean. He appeared to be everything I wanted. I was going through a nasty custody battle and he seemed to understand that took first priority.

Within 5 months I’d fallen pregnant despite using protection. I’d later learn that he poked holes in the condoms. I wanted a termination. He begged me not to. I kept the baby and then he knew I was trapped. I was 3 months pregnant the first time he physically assaulted me, I’d caught him cheating and tried to leave. He choked me against the laundry wall with my feet off the ground. I had a seizure and lost bladder control and lost consciousness.

I woke up later, alone, still on the floor in a puddle of my own urine. I crawled to the couch and cried myself to sleep. I woke up to Dean coming home and telling me “baby you need to be more careful, you can’t sleep with the door unlocked, it’s not safe” as I tried to work out if he was serious or if I’d imagined him attacking me.

From there it got worse; he’d constantly cheat & I would be too afraid to confront him, he’d moved me 600km from family & friends for his job. He tried to cheat on me with my cousin, who told me. He’d start fights with my family from my Facebook account.

I called the police once who encouraged me to not press charges because he’d lose his security license and lose his job.

When I was 31 weeks pregnant in April of 2015 he tried to home abort our son. He beat me so badly he caused placental abruption and my son and I both almost died. While our son was in NICU I told dcpfs everything. I was trying to leave. While in NICU I was told my son wouldn't survive. I called Dean to come say goodbye and he refused to leave.

When dcpfs took my son they provided Dean with copies of everything I’d told them. He beat me again, blaming me for our son being in care. They also provided me with copies of what he’d said to them, Including him going to dcpfs the day after my son was born and telling them I was hooked on hard drugs. My son was monitored for withdrawal and showed no signs. At the same time he was doing this, I was refusing morphine after an emergency C-section because I didn’t like how it made me feel.

I finally left in 2016. I left while Dean was held in remand for missing court. The court date had been for an assault on me. He did more time (six weeks) for missing court than he ever did for assaulting me (13 police reports in a matter of months) he never served a day for what he did to me or our son.

After I left I thought it would get better, instead I was stalked by his friends, assaulted by his girlfriend while walking in town, he became friends with my oldest boys dad and the two of them set to work destroying my character. I was publicly discussed online by the two of them, called money hungry, a gold digger, a whore, a slut, every horrible thing you can think of. They attempted to back each other up in family court.

Dean proceeded to date a friend of mine, then her 15 year old friend.

After leaving, I met someone new. He treated me well and we’ve been together ten years now and we have two daughters together. While I was pregnant with our first daughter, Dean got the 15 year old pregnant and they stole my unborn babies name. During this time, both girlfriends facilitated his stalking.

On my son’s birthday Dean was arrested and held for charges not related to me but to a violent home invasion he’d committed. He ended up serving almost 3 years.

In that time his then 16 year old girlfriend broke up with him, had their daughter and got a new partner.

While Dean was in prison, dcpfs placed our son back in my care. Dean made it clear to dcpfs he didn’t want our son back in my care, stating he’d rather he stay in foster care. During the time our son was in care, I’d gone to every drug test requested, passing them all, I’d done parenting classes, I’d done domestic violence counseling, meanwhile Dean hadn’t done anything.

Our son's been in my care since 2018 with no involvement from his father.

Over the years I’d attempted family court three times. Never getting orders made due to Deans non compliance. On the last attempt, Dean arrived to court with a car load of people and security had to detain me for my own safety as they had boxed me in the courthouse.

In 2020 the rental I’d been in sold, the housing crisis was in full swing and I got approval for a house in another state. Legally, I required deans okay to move. He refused to allow it, stating that all of Connor’s family is in our state, family he’d previously asked the court to place an injunction on restraining me from sending Connor to them. I spent over a year homeless as a result of the housing crisis and not being able to leave the state.

I left my abuser in 2016. It is 2025 now and this last 6 months has been filled with his new girlfriend following me on TikTok, I messaged her stating if she was here for him to just keep going, she denied that and then in April she confirmed I’d been correct. She then told me she was going through exactly what I had. Down to her being assaulted on my son’s birthday. I encouraged her to leave and gave her resources and support. She still went back. She then began attacking me as a person and a mother. I cut contact. I made an anonymous post in a group on Facebook after blocking her and she still saw it then gaslit me further until I deleted it.

In the two years I was with Dean, I went from being strong enough to walk after the first act of violence to crying bloody on the floor begging Dean to love me.

He took everything from me, including my kids. I will never regain custody of my oldest, I missed out on three years and all my youngest son’s firsts. It’s been 9 years and I’m still being stalked, still being verbally abused by random women, still being harassed, still being threatened by people who don’t even know me. I still feel like I’m being hunted.

In the two years I was with Dean I reported 13 physical assaults, I attempted to report the sexual assault and was dismissed by the officer, I found child porn searches on his phone and the police refused to investigate as I’d hacked his Gmail. I know 3 girlfriends after me have definitely experienced his violence and I'm not sure about the rest.

Over the years, Dean has denied paternity but refused to do the dna test and claimed it’s me refusing to do the dna test. He’s demanded custody after years of absence.

He’s threatened to bury me alive. Threatened to have me gang raped. Threatened to have me beaten to death. Threatened to cut me into tiny pieces.

I started sharing my story on TikTok and he lost his shit over it. He’s tried threatening me with legal repercussions only to get mad when I pointed out he could try but I could back up every single claim I’d made.

I am tired of running, tired of being hunted.

I want my story heard.